so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
