i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
