Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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