How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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