i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This is the high leading the old right now
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
