ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you mean i was at the winter classic?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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