are you still at the devil's house?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
