Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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