Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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