I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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