Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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