Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
