Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
