There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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