YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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