there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
