I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
