Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
