Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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