i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
