At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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