I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
