New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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