Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
