Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
