i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
