guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
