Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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