and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
