Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
