I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
