You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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