Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
