Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
