That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
