sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
