i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
