whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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