Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
