tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
