Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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