Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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