Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
