I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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