there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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