hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
