Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
