If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
