i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
