Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
