I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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