Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
