I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
